Notes from the deep end.

Lately, I’ve been imagining myself as a whale in my high school’s swimming pool. Not a beached whale. Not a big fish in a small pond. Just a whale exploring the depths of her surroundings.

I took lessons in the EHS pool when I was a little girl. And I remember how I would put one hand on the side and my face in the water, walking along the bottom and pretending to swim.

I’ve never fooled a soul by trying to be someone I’m not.

So, me, the whale.

It’s fun hanging out in the shallow end with all the cool kids doing handstands. I love it there. I get to observe others and try stuff I wouldn’t normally do. I enjoy meeting people where they are.

Staying in the shallows begins to wear on me, though.

I start to feel as if I can’t breathe amidst the noise. I said what I said.

I go back to deep waters. Always. I take up space where I am not too much. Or too big. (I remain awkward AF in conversations with strangers, regardless of where we are swimming.) I weigh myself down with rocks. Hands in dirt. Looking at the birds overhead. Heart outside of my body, worn on my sleeve. A whale among friends.

There is nothing wrong with someone who prefers water they can stand in. It’s just that every once in a while, I am delighted when someone sees me out there swimming in the deep end of the pool under the high dive - and joins me. More often than not, I watch as they navigate the slippery slope between us and head back to safety.

Not everyone is meant to go deep. I know that. It’s just that the deep end is where my heart feels like it is home. Free.

Do you ever feel like you’re doing the survival float in shallow waters?

Here’s your invitation to go deep.

If any of this crazy whale metaphor resonates, and you're navigating something big — purpose, identity shifts, grief, family transitions — I offer 1:1 coaching for women who are coming home to themselves.

I have tools to help you feel clear, grounded, and fully in your own power again. We move, we talk, we write - among other things.

Book a free brainstorming session and we’ll chat about how I can support you as you navigate the messy middle of life.