I'm a little lackadaisical. Forgive me.

Take a deep breath. It’s ok. This is a purposeful expedition.

Once upon a time, I had a career trajectory, a marriage, and a house full of kids. Now, I am a freelancing, empty nester with independent means and a boyfriend. I have gone through some shit - so many transitions in this middle part of my life. Birth, death, divorce, the dating apps, career changes, buying/ selling houses, babies —> college, politics, hormonal shifts 😱.

How about you? Any of this resonate? We used to be sure about the future and what we wanted it to look like, now we are less tied to the end and learning how to sit comfortably in the reality of what it is right now, right here, in front of us.

What do you WANT? That’s what people keep asking me, as if I don’t have a plan for the future. Or a care in the world. Listen, I’ve written out my five-year plan, the Man-I-Fest document*, lesson plans, content plans, to-do lists, and bucket lists.

*I was advised to manifest the man of my dreams by creating a spreadsheet of sorts with his most favorable qualities. I called it Man-I-Fest, lol. And, true story, I’ve yet to find the perfect man. But I stopped trying to create perfect. That was the trick. The man I have is not perfect. Neither am I. And neither of us wants the other one to be different. It’s an “as is” deal of the century. And I like that a lot. Our goal is to be the best individuals for ourselves, first, then each other. It’s like a sigh of relief.

But I think I’m done with people asking me the question - what do you want as if that “thing” is a star in a constellation I’m wishing upon. It’s not that I don’t know or can’t explain it. It’s just that I don’t want to.

This is my…I’m not checking off boxes on a list era.

I am living a chosen life. And here’s what life choices can look like:

• Finding joy in things you once thought were subversive. gasp

• Living a life that is not optimal while crafting one that is.

• Growing in love rather than falling into it.

• Working your whole life for something.

• Shifting your energy.

• Letting go.

Not one of these life choices has been easy; but all of them intentional. And at the end of the day, I rest with the thought that I have what I need. I am full of joy. And present.

If you know me, you know I’m an explorer, an adventurer, a scientist, if you will. And this is the greatest experiment I’ve undertaken - the one where I stop asking what other people think while I’m experiencing the life I was meant to live. Even at my age. At my income level. With my knowledge and skills.

I grew up looking to others for social cues in order to blend into my environment. On some level my anxiety would love to be bossed around when I am afraid or unsure or don’t want to do the thing I need to do.

But the last person who told me I wasn’t doing “it” right and then listed the things I “should” be doing made clear the lesson I’ve been learning in this season. For fucks sake. It’s not about other people. It’s just about you. What do YOU want? The only person who should be asking that question is you.

Other people wish the best for you and also want you to stay the same. Read that again. When you change, everything and everyone around you has to adapt or get left behind. And change is scary for other people. But not for us. Not anymore.

That’s why I’m writing this. If we don’t figure out how to change, how to transition well, we will stay scared and stuck for the rest of our lives. And I refuse to live in fear ever again. I am 100% going to make this life weird and full of joy amidst any discomfort I may experience. It is my new life’s mission to help you do the same.

Who is ready to take the next step towards change with me? One way to move forward is to schedule time for a coffee and chat. My treat.

Braveheart Brainstorm