Choosing a new okay: a few things to consider when it comes to perseverance.

I’m struggling to navigate a few situations at the moment.

Facing a difficult [insert your thing] is hard. And we are a people of ease. When given the opportunity to choose, sometimes we take the way that feels most manageable. We meander along, following the path of least resistance.

Other times, we move boulders, walk over trees, carry extra weight, and proceed to the route without faltering. We keep going because we have an end goal in mind. No amount of obstacles will deter us from the finish line.

The problem is, well, there is no problem, really. It’s just that when we choose to proceed or to take a new direction, our decision is all wound up in the story we’re telling ourselves. It’s an act of situational fiction our brains create based on our unique circumstances.

I’m struggling to navigate a few situations at the moment, but I know what I want my next steps to be. Still, I’ll avoid them for a bit because they’re hard. In fact, I’m choosing all the avoidance tools at my disposal - silencing my gut, ignoring my intuition, not living with intention.

Whether you meander or endure, it still takes deliberation and perseverance.

Where are you in the process?

Perseverance is a process. It doesn’t look the same for everyone.

Recently, I watched the movie Nyad (on Netflix, nominated for two Academy Awards). Have you seen it? Diana Nyad is/ was a long-distance swimmer who attempted to swim from Cuba to Florida in 1978 (at 28). It took her another 30+ years to try again. Her process of perseverance took half a lifetime.

She said, “Our team lived by the credo ONWARD! We failed. We got back up, learned from our experience and pressed ever ONWARD!”

How you move forward is up to you. My brain messes with me when it comes to perseverance, so I came up with this little checklist of things to consider. Maybe it will help you choose your next steps…

✔️ Be intentional.

It’s possible to endure anything, and it's also okay not to. But what do you really want to do?

There are no right or wrong answers here. It’s just…what do you really want to do? For those of you who aren’t sure yet, watch this video and tell me what choice you’ll make next.

Or read this book and find out that everything you need to take your next step is already available to you. It might be as simple as a mindset shift.

✔️ Notice how you feel.

The brain, which houses the ego, is a powerful tool our bodies use to survive real and perceived threats. It tells us whatever it can to protect us from danger or pain. Because our brain/ ego works from all kinds of angles, you can’t always trust what it’s saying.

The way to decide whether to believe the story your ego is telling is to actually feel your feelings and notice where they are in your body. You can balance your brain by literally trusting your gut. If you feel “sick to your stomach” about something, it’s safe to make another choice. If you feel peace and calm, trust that you may proceed.

How your body feels when you make a decision…it doesn’t lie.

✔️ Choose a new okay.

Just because you were headed in one direction doesn’t mean you have to remain on that path. Rather than attaching to something specific, allow for change. Intuitively, you know what to do, don’t you? Ya, you do.

Diana Nyad tried to swim from Cuba to Florida five times. Only once was she successful. With each attempt, she learned new ways to approach the task. With each failure, she had to accept the reality of the situation and make choices about whether/ how to persevere.

✔️ Take your next step.

Writing has been, for me, the most important tool for living; a lifeline between my head, my heart, and my gut - a way to make meaning. I have always been a writer, but the profession of writing led me to new relationships, integrative ways to manage my emotions, tools for thriving in dark times, and ways to sit with discomfort well.

If any of that sounds like something you could use as you transition or transform your life, I can coach you through the process. Are you curious about how to move forward and what to do next?

I have time on my schedule just for you. Grab a warm drink. Let’s chat.

I see you. I'm with you. I’m for you. And most importantly, you’re not alone.